Thursday, December 2nd, 2004
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4:08 pm - somebody gave america snow whites apple.
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i loathe reality television.... and that is an understatement.
thats all.
current mood:  amused
current music: mum
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Wednesday, November 17th, 2004
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3:31 pm - 8 inch finger nails in the neck of the next nixon.
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i am in a substantial groove right now. my work is better than it has ever been...my resume looks to be fabulous. the city...i commeth with bells, booze and a carton of camels.
current mood:  anxious
current music: the doves
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Wednesday, November 3rd, 2004
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4:05 pm - i am the scavanger.
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new york this past weekend couldnt have been better. refreshing..and amazing to say the least.
..i wish not to speak of particulars becaue it will only make me sigh.
however.
i want nothing more in my life then to be there as soon as i possibley can.
...and saturday. was a swift kick in the ass to do so.
sidenote. i have an awkward feeling i shall not see someone for a long time. it bothers me. maybe it is time?
blah.
current mood:  depressed
current music: the killers
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(comment on this)
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Friday, October 22nd, 2004
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1:10 pm - genocide via intstrumental value.
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i was at mandis(west seneca crap bar)...and i was outside smoking ....watching the red sox game. and this trashy couple comes up to me spouting off how i should be a yankees fan because i have "that new york hair cut".....
...well excuse me mam....i did not know hair connotated what city you were from let alone what sports teams you should root for. im the 22 year old spending a mild cent on a beer....your 50 and spending your mortage payment on 30. in 3 months. when im in new york. and i have my "new york city hair" ...im going to be paying your fucking welfare check 10 fold.
..w/ all do respect trashy couple....eat a bag of dicks......an excessivley large one at that.
sidenote: i concur on the mean matt chase movement for a fredonia cleansing.
.....when you pull of the side entrance of temple st. ...take a look at that little end table on the porch of 248....the names on that end table forever instantiate. metal. hate. booze. drugs. and quintessentially...... awesome.
first rule of metal young ones..... "dont be gay"
current mood:  cynical
current music: pg. 99
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Wednesday, October 20th, 2004
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3:18 pm - space ghost coast to coast.
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nothing exciting.
it looks like im going to do it all by myself.
....but i knew that from the start i feel.
heading to long island next weekend. to see the best friend. with best friends.
....buying extravagent clothing is a must.
as well as unique costumes and excessive drinking.
getty up parz.
go go go.
current mood:  complacent
current music: mum
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Monday, October 4th, 2004
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1:13 pm - throwing napalm at the cheerleading squad.
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...fredonia was extremley odd. i dont know if it is because we got there @ 130am after work. or if it is just odd to be back there and not know 0923984029384903 fucking people. either way. i doubt a trip back will be in order before i leave.
sidenote: i turn 22 this friday. all those who wish to celebrate accordingly. lets proceed.... not with caution. with utter disregard for others. i will only be this close to death once.
current mood:  blah
current music: the killers.
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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Thursday, September 23rd, 2004
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2:28 pm - somebody tell god to getty up
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latley i have retired into seclusion mode. it happens every birth of fall. no offense to anything or anyone. i just feel the need to do what i want and not take in consideration the feelings of others. it will be gone in 2 weeks.
...i figured. id give half my leg for most of these people and show that year round....they can suffer for a couple weeks.
sort of contradictory to my previous entry. hmmm
current mood: cynical
current music: elvis costello
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(comment on this)
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Sunday, September 19th, 2004
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2:30 pm - doctor doom.a man of science, doesnt believe in jesus. why the fuck should you?
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it's been a long time. yet i need to occupy my time. so perhaps i should start again. yes. seemingly i should.
several things have changed. although a contingent process, i feel i have put rest to unessecary baggage in the friend department, bid farewell to those who have done nothing substantial in a mediocre at best relationship.
as days pass, i look foward to moving more and more. i couldnt be placed in a better situation....well i do suppose anything is better than my current situation.
yesterday, i had two beautiful girls pull me aside to tell me i was beeautiful, and that i was so gorgeous they couldnt understand why i was not taken. as i am falttered, this is week number two in a row of such an event, it has rendered a mild self actualization within my own process, why am i single? i have been for 3 years, i mean to an extent, unless you consider 3 weeks spirts..relationships. but then again i owe colelge singledom to a person other than myself.
i work. alot.
...new york will follow at the compromised pace as a consequence. im ok with that.
current mood:  exhausted
current music: interpol
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Monday, May 24th, 2004
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7:41 pm - phoning
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i purchased a new cellular phoning device. you may all reach me there.
716- 361-3398
change my number accordingly. and use it. i dont bite.
ps. my phone was crushed in nam. i have no access to numbers. if you want me to have yours. reply. or message me.
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(7 comments | comment on this)
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Monday, May 3rd, 2004
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12:32 am - last fredfest ever.
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thursday - show was absolutey horrible. you just cant give these kids free alcohol and expect anything. aside from broken heads, mics, kicks, and strings we just didnt have it together. going to have to make up for it this thursday. we just have bad luck with fredonia shows. other than that the show itself was good. huge turnout. and had we not been drunk on mini pitchers of gin dealing w/ broken equipment. we would have rocked the fuck out all over that bar. oh well shit happens. it wont happen again.
friday and saturday consisted of day drinking and night drinking and heckling with matt chase amongst others. i dont feel like getting into specifics but if you wernt around us on friday or saturday. you missed a good time.
today i woke up and did some work. i dont drink any more than a normal college kid. but when i do. im just bligerant. oblivious to anyone elses feelings, thoughts, person etc. and it always makes me feel like shit on sunday. maybe i need to stop. or stop being an asshole. mreh.
current music: bleeding through
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Wednesday, April 28th, 2004
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12:42 am - on the run from johnny law aint no trip to cleveland
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Pick a band and answer using only that band's song titles
18 visions
1. Are you male or female?: who the fuck killed john lennon?
2. Describe yourself: russian roulette with a trigger happy manic depressive
3. How do some people feel about you?: fashion show
4. Describe your girlfriend/boyfriend/interest: gorgeous
5. How do you feel about yourself?: one hell of a prize fighter
6. Where would you rather be?: love in autumn
7. Describe what you want: revolutionizing the sound music
8. Describe how you live: champagne and sleeping pills
9. Describe how you love: wine em dine em sixty nine em
:)
current music: radiohead - the tourist.
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(comment on this)
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Friday, April 23rd, 2004
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3:08 pm - sometimes it's our mistakes that make for the greatest ideas
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i just dont know anymore. 3 weeks left here. and i really dont have a clue about anything. ever. what a fucking life i lead.
go see deadarm this week. and watch us on tv. this band is the last shred of rock n roll in me right now.
i wonder consistently how shitty people are. if people like to my face. with all this bull shit with people wanting to beat me up, and just everything happening in the last couple weeks. i wonder how trustworthy anyone is.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Saturday, April 17th, 2004
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9:00 am - sunshine and gasoline
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why does she do it? why do i let her do it? why do i like it? why does she like it? why is it always like this. i have no idea. everything happens for a reason. reasons are yet to be seen. or determined. if it is unfavorable to me. it was how it was to be. if it is contradictory... the same. when it happens. i dont want it to stop. but it does.
this is a hypothetical situation by the way. ha.
current music: him - rayzorblade kiss
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Monday, April 12th, 2004
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6:13 pm - bent to squares
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1) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says:
"but who comes here? i am vinsible.
2) Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?
half empty can of keystone ice.
3) What is the last thing you watched on TV?
chapelle show
4) WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what the time is.
6:15
5) Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
6:14
6) With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
cars outside, metal, bass from the dudes room.
7) When did you last step outside? what were you doing?
went for gas and nicotene about 2 hours ago.
8) Before you came to this website, what did you look at?
creative writing work
9) What are you wearing?
ladies jeans, t-shirt, flip flops,
10) Did you dream last night?
possibley. if i did i dont remember.
11) When did you last laugh?
band practice earlier
12) What is on the walls of the room you are in?
james dean, slapshot, various band posters, records, pictures, johnny chash
13) Seen anything weird lately?
not that i really remember.
14) Last movie you saw?
army of darkness
15) If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?
penthouse in manhatten.
16) Tell me something about you that I don't know:
you dont know shit about me.
17) If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
haha. if you knew.
18) Do you like to dance?
screw chicks mike. i just gotta dance.
19) George Bush: should have been kennedy
20) Would you ever consider living abroad?
ehhh ....pending on what i was doing and who i was with. and where i was yes.
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(comment on this)
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Sunday, April 11th, 2004
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1:28 pm - cofee and cigarettes
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its easter afternoon. i had to stay in fredonia to be able to do my independent study and some editing for drama 2. i feel pretty fucking alone right now regardless that meg and austin are here. something is just missing. i had a terrible trip the other day becaue i had too much on my mind. well after work i am getting a polish dinner from the pelkas. dont worry momz. ha. well heres to coffee, cigarettes, film, and futile hedonism.
current music: radiohead - no surprises
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(comment on this)
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Monday, April 5th, 2004
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2:29 am - killians red.
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its 330 in the morning. i cant sleep because i passed out for an hour earlier. my head is starting to hurt. ive been drunk since 930 saturday night. and just now am sobering up. i drink my problems away. i had a respectable conversation with austin about it. he helped me out. i know why i drink. i like drinking. why do i come back from partying in buffalo til 5am still drunk then start drinking jack, ice 101, and icehouse?? have you ever been so in love with someone that you could genuinley say you would do ANYTHING for them. but its not reciprocated. your not even respected by that person. its hard isnt it. well i cant deal with it sober headed. i cant watch 4 years of my life come to an end and one of the few people i actually care about, someone who i can honestly say means more to me than any person i have ever met at this school or in my entire life for that matter.... she just doesnt give a fuck. ive had my best of friends, my brother, my parents tell me they have never seen me act this way towards someone, about someone, for someone. i dont know what to do with myself. so what do i do? drink. and drink heavily. its ok that its not reciprocated. thats not the issue. its mostly me. you know me. you know i really dont give a fuck about people. i really dont care about anyone aside from a few. but this one. i feel like im losing a part of myself. every single fucking second i spend with her i treasure. i believe pulp fiction explained it as "you know you've found someone special when you can shut the fuck up for 5 mintues and have a comfortable moment of silence"...regardless... i dont think anyone really understands the magnitude of this all....but its gone in 5 weeks. nothing. the person who in 20 years when i hear fredonia . i will speak her name....im watching her just not understand, not care, that im going. and i guess it sort of hurts. it actually hurts alot. to the point where me of all people...almost shed a fucking tear. i havent cried since i was 5 years old and watched my mom leave me at kintergarten. but this one. im so in love with that she brings me to that point. she brings me to 7 o clock sunday night alone, blacked out, still drunk and drinking from saturday. forgetting everything even exists. no idea who i talked to, what i did....but i know why i did it. im going to stop this. this is to personal for fucking live journal and i know some of you could prolly piece this together. well. i bid you all a good nite. i will be expecting countless replies calling me a whiney fagget. but i really dont care. i needed to say something. even if it is just to live journal.
current music: the rapture
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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Monday, March 15th, 2004
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12:27 am
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i think id rather be graduating a semester late that be so engulfed in my school work right now that im pissing away time with people i might never see again. i need spring break.
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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Monday, March 1st, 2004
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6:02 pm - she looks good in velvet
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shows this weekend went well. had some sound problems on friday night. but nothing you can do with a show that big and 2 people engineering. saturday. aside from my ticket for not wearing a seat belt because i was busy rolling a joint...the day went well. show was insane. olean kids enjoy their mosh. i managed to get kicked and punched several times while singing. hmm other than that. all is well. select people put smiles on my face regardless of how stressed w/ school and work and deadarm i am. it totally jam. they are grand.
current music: the darkness - friday night
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Wednesday, February 25th, 2004
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4:44 pm - russian roulette with a trigger happy maniac
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this week is fairly busy. justs lots of shit to do with school and preparing for shows this weekend. for those interested. friday 6pm the spot and in olean on saturday. i think its 4 or something. good bands on both shows. go.
this semster is the first semester in a while ive had like written work to do. it blows. i have a paper due tomorrow on a book i didnt read, nor care to read. i love poetry. i love writing. i fucking hate being forced to read books. let alone have to comrephend it. i spend more time trying to pick it apart then enjoying the actual literature the way it was ment to be read.... at leisure. . i will read what i want on my own time.
sidenote: i enjoy meeting new people. especially when they outstand from the conformity that seems to plague everyone on this campus.
current music: the refused - summerholidays vs. punkroutine
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(comment on this)
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Monday, February 23rd, 2004
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9:12 pm - what a fucking day
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everything that could have went wrong. just did. i feel like a piece of shit and i cant do anything about it. sorry dude.
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(comment on this)
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buriedbreathing's journal